It took me many years before I really understood the power of changing my mindset. Ever since I was a teenager, I was plagued by depression. I suffered with it up until about two years ago. For a long time, I was a victim to my thoughts, succumbed to the inner voice that kept me stuck and frozen for what seemed like an eternity.
It was from this pain that I embarked on a journey to seek happiness. My first discovery of what it meant to shift my mindset was when I discovered The Power of Now, a book by Eckhart Tolle. Reading this piece of literature was an eye-opening experience for me. Eckhart Tolle was on the brink of suicide when he had a glimpse of what seemed like heaven on earth. This moment, what he recognized as his spiritual awakening, changed his life forever; it also changed my life in a way I could have never anticipated. Reading this book was the beginning of a new life for me, a new way of perceiving reality.
Isn’t it funny? For most of our lives, we are so stuck in our head, stuck in this internal dialogue that we identify with. This inner dialogue creates the perception that we have of ourselves. We take the information from our environment and reflect on it. That reflection, our reactions, and how we feel about situations all make up our inner dialogue. However, that voice is only what we think makes up our sense of self.
“What a liberation to realize that the ‘voice in my head’ is not who I am.” -Eckhart Tolle
As I read this book, I realized that I am not that voice in my head, I am separate from my ego. This small realization changed my entire thinking process. It helped me realize that there are two parts to me: the ego and the higher self. The ego is that nagging voice that keeps me suffering, filling me up with self-doubt, self-hatred, and insecurities. The ego caused my pain and suffering. Then there is “the higher self,” the true, authentic me, the person who has greatness within herself, capable of achieving and accomplishing anything.
For so many years, I identified as my ego. I was the perpetual “victim.” It felt like life’s whirlwind of misfortunes kept happening to me, and there was nothing that I could do to change it. I just wanted the suffering to stop, but I didn’t know how to stop it. When I came to this realization that I am not that “voice in my head” I was liberated from the pain and suffering that I, in fact, was inflicting upon myself. It was time for me to take my power back because I am not that voice. I can control my own life.
For those of you who have been a victim to this voice, let me tell you that it’s time for you to take back control of your life. Your life is 100% within your power, and when you realize this life will start to change dramatically. There’s something magical about knowing that you are the “creator” of your life, that you have control over shaping your future. You get to choose whatever reality you want to live in. Whether it’s suffering or living in bliss, it’s entirely up to you.
This one book sparked many more lessons to come and the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that when you change your mindset, you can change anything and everything. Most of us do not realize the potential we have because we are stuck behind our thoughts and fears. But let me tell you something, you can override those thoughts and fears. You just have to be committed to the journey of rewiring your brain.
So how can you start to shift your mindset?
Step 1. Realize that you are 100% in control of your life.
This is a hard one. When we are children, we rely on those around us to take care of us and support us. As we grow up, sometimes we develop this idea that someone will come save us. The truth is, that isn’t true at all. One of the biggest lessons you can learn is that you are your superhero. Just you. No one else. This realization is the foundation of shifting your mindset, taking responsibility for your emotions, and understanding you have complete control of your life.
Step 2. Say goodbye to negative thoughts.
Having repetitive negative thoughts is the one thing that really holds us back. So how can you tackle these little monsters in your head? The first thing is awareness. Start to notice that nagging voice in your head and how much it prevents you from happiness. One exercise to regularly practice is writing down all the negative thoughts or beliefs that you have, and then crossing them out and rewriting these negative thoughts into positive ones. You can read the positive ones as affirmations every day. The more you repeat them, the more they will become embedded in your mind.
Step 3. Say hello to a ridiculous amount of self-love!
Yes, it’s cheesy, but radical self-love is a key ingredient to taking back control of your life. When you love yourself, you know that you deserve more. And you won’t let those pervasive thoughts invade your mind and life. So practice a lot of self-love. Start by looking in the mirror and saying, “I love you” every day. Take care of your mind and body by doing things that you love, whether it’s dancing, singing, or writing.
Step 4. Do more things that make you happy.
This one is so simple but also extremely important. Many times we get so caught up with life that we forget to do things that make us happy. It’s silly, right? So do more of what makes you happy. Find a little bit of magic every single day by doing something that sets your soul on fire. Find pleasure in the small things, like drinking your morning coffee with your favorite song in the background, or doing stretches in the morning to loosen up. Why is this a mindset shift? Because the happier you are, the better you will feel and the more positive thoughts you will have.
Step 5. Train your brain to focus on the positives.
You can do this by writing down three things you are grateful for in the morning and three things you’ve accomplished before bed. This will help your mind to learn to focus on things that nourish you instead of things that bring you down. Every day we are constantly bombarded with thoughts that do not serve us, so make writing down the positive ones a priority! When you operate from a place of gratitude, it will help reduce stress and increase optimism in your life.
Step 6. Turn failures into lessons.
The next time you fail at something, think of it as a learning lesson instead of beating yourself up over it. Ask yourself, “What does this failure teach me? How can I learn from it? What do I know now and how can I use this knowledge to help me?” When you look at failures as a lesson, it helps you move forward and not be too harsh on yourself. Remember, even when you’re failing, you are failing forward. This means you are getting closer to what you really want!
Each day as you practice these steps, you’ll allow your mindset to shift slightly. Transformation, much like personal growth, is not always a straight line. It takes work, and the time putting into these tasks is time worth investing. To be able to transform your life is worth every second and ounce of effort. It is my wish that these steps guide you to a more positive mindset that lasts a lifetime!
Xo, Julia
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